I miss us, i miss stayovers, i miss waking up beside you, i miss you coming over to my house surprising me, i miss going over to your house early in the morning, i miss waiting for u at dover, i miss constantly reporting to you, i miss our endless conversations, i miss eating with your family, i miss staying at your house till 1050, i miss your constantly dozing off beside me on the train, i miss your bad temper, i miss holding your hand proudly, i miss being ourselves infront of our classmates, i miss how we would always make up after quarrels, i miss jurong point, i miss telling you every single detail of my everyday life, i miss sending you to vollyball,i miss our long and sweet goodnight messages, i miss hugging you so fucking tightly, i miss how we would sing crazily together, i miss how we would do the stupidest of things together, i miss seeing you every single/other day, i miss walking you home, i miss celebrating our anniversaries at fei cui, i miss how we would dift away and talk about marissa, and lastly, i miss you...

Wish you could be me for alil while, Period.

I couldnt even get past one day without talking to you. I am missing u so much to the point that i could just sit there for hours staring into the fucking space(like during that bullshit 2 hours of being alone). Last night was for sure a darn rough night. I cried the shit, eyes and lungs out, I never thought I could cry so damn much. Its tormenting not being able to make things right, and after we hung up, all I could think about was everything that we been through before. LITERALLY. From the sending u to Hougang for training for the very first time, sitting on the ground near your house, laughing over every single thing, bickering constantly with each other to the time where you broke the news to me that changed everything about us. Of course the list goes and on... but the point is however good or bad, I miss those times, immensely. I miss you, I miss us. I dont remember when you not calling me when u wake up in the mornings but this what exactly what happened. These are things that are slowly creeping away from me and I hated that. That was why i went to look you up just now. And im glad things didnt turn out bad. I just hope we'll talk over it later. Baby no matter what, I truely wished things would go back to before because whatever it is. I miss everything about you. Please girl stay, oh sugar...

Needed some form of relief, and almost immediately i thought of here. Its been a long long time since i posted, and i doubt this post is gonna change anything but I just needed something to let the shit out. You know, I am never mad at you for long but why must I always be the fucking one who always wants to make it right when its wrong. I dont get it. It seems as though u got to much pride to utter even a simple "sorry". Maybe to you I'm not worth that much. Sorry if you see the whole thing as dumb, there is pretty much nothing I can do about it anymore. Dont treat me the way you dont want to be treated, because it sure sucks like hell. Maybe in a day or two's time, or even maybe a couple of hours time, I would utimately be the one begging for your forgiveness, apologizing profusely but whatever it is I am indeed really drained.

Hunnie, where do I start? Reading your texts, it was alil painful as much as it made me fearful. That fear of losing you, of not having you around me anymore(dependence or not) it did made me falter. But it did also got me thinking. You feeling this way coupled with all that upcoming stuff(your work, my school) we'll be having, it just doesnt helps, does it? But then again maybe all this could make us see better about how we really feel for each other. Stop feeling sorry, silly. I just hope we could get there someday. We've come a long way hun(to me at least), you taught me good(appriceation, manners, selflessness etc) and I'm thankful for that, I really am. I didnt thought I knew what love was after what happened in the past but I guess I can safetly say today that I do love you, yet ironically, with a dose of uncertainty to it. You were the one who showered me with xos, taught me the meaning of hugs and allowed me the purity of kisses. You were the one who taught me xos. As unsure as you are, I'm just glad you know that I do indeed mean something to you. And that my dear, is enough.

Pardon that possesiveness of mine, afterall its all out of concern. :)

"dont give up on me kay?"
You can damn right bet on it I wont.

Did mommy forget to buy you a pony?
Were you molested as a child?
Things not going your way?
But thurt over the futility of human existence?

Bah. Where's my lovely gore?

Jaryl
Esther
Joy